That long night of my life, it was the night of 2nd April, 2010. I thought I was lost somewhere, searching for a way out, out of that mental trauma - that i m into. For me its like a dead end of a road, road where my destiny found its destination & I am at dead end, looking for another road another path alone just into me & myself and found myself incompatible and ineligible, unfit to find another path to cover the rest of the distance.
Its 12 midnight and I am still on my bed, try to sleep but @ that point of time I thought 'sleep' is the word that is not into my dictionary or i forget how to sleep or what are the initial steps one has to take to get into that sleep mode, Another thought was into my mind that is why god didn't put a single button rite above our mind just like our cellphones, you press it and select different profiles among silent, sleep, flight, general, loud etc. etc. and how we are going to react on different modes sometimes with words and sometimes on vibrator (body language).
Its 1 AM still in that general mode, not able to get any signal from that sleep tower. And then suddenly, I don't know how but suddenly a thought came to my mind which is just near to death, A thought that says depicts "if I sleep tonight, may be this is my last sleep, may be i am not able to wake-up after this sleep". A single thought give invitation to many other thoughts, my mind & heart are now running like they have to Qualify themselves into Olympics. I always heard about two parts of brain and @ that point of time when the right hand side part was thinking of my last sleep, the left-hand side part was thinking of some unfinished business as this is my last sleep, which include:
- Is it feasible to hug mom & dad @ this time.
- How to tell them about the car keys that is in right hand pocket of my black trouser.
- How to tell them that the last date to pay landline bill is 15th April.
- What is the correct way to inform some close friends of mine, may be they are sleeping so calling them is not feasible, again massaging is again a trouble cause few of them are married.
- Informing my company and specially the HR Manager in Bangalore branch about my long long leave, so that at least they can put it in informed leave of mine.
- Informing my follow colleagues about unfinished work and pending follow-ups.
- Many more things one by one running into my mind.
I spent next 2 and half hour thinking about my last sleep, thinking about those unfinished tasks. Coming back to the reality that the next day was Saturday and Saturday is always a working day for me, so i have to reach office by 10 AM, So if above all are some kind of imagination of mine or some kind of fusion or chemical locha in my mind, than its not an end and i have to wake-up by 8 AM in the morning so i need to sleep, sleep atleast for next 4 hours.
After a long lasting night of my life where my power of thinking beyond the boundaries take me to the sphere of imagination, I closed my eyes, put some heavy weights on my eye lashes to drop it like a shutter @ the entry of a shop.
In another words i can explain it like challenging my own imagination by sleeping, Its like standing in front of it and saying "lets see if i am able to wake-up in the morning or not, whether its the end or not".
Although I don't mind waking-up on 3rd morning with that revamped song - Tel Maalish from the movie Road starts buzzing as a alarm tone in my mobile.
