Tanha

tanha logon ke shahar me tanha rahta hoon main, kabhi khud se chupna chahta hoon, kabhi

sirf khud se milna chahta hoon, der se sota hoon, der se uthta hoon. Koi khana bna jata

hai, koi kapde dho deta hai, aur main bas chalta chala jata hoon life ki conveyor belt pe,

airport pe kho gye kisi suitcase ki tarah!!!!! akela, kabhi kabhi badi khubsurat lagti hai

ye tanhai, aur kabhi kabhi jaise kaatil ki nigahon se mujhse baat karti hai.

College Days

Remembering my classmates, after a few years,
filled my eyes with tears.
everyone now is a busy a lot,
no one can escape destiny's plot.

Saw the gal whom once i thought was my best friend,
oops! Today she is somebody else's girlfriend.
After months, remembered her a little while,
heard she is happy; that made me smile :).

Project reviews to campus interviews,
nick-names to last bench games.
Cultural rehearsal to love proposals,
short-term crusades to classroom blushes.

Everything is fresh in my mind,
only wish life could just rewind.
Let's laugh, play & rejoice,
once again become college-guys.

Chatting & laughing, we all were in elation,
till a painful moment of separation.
When it was time to part,
we returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,
and too many worries.
But those cherished moments,
will live forever in my memories.

Mirror Mirror tell me the truth.....

Its almost one or one & half month I wrote so many blogs (here so many means just 4-6, that is so many for me) & then delete them without even publish them, its just like you make cocktail for yourself, you put lots of Vodka, lots of crushed quarter lemons, bit of sugar & mug full of crushed ice & then after investing so much efforts into it you throw it in waste bin, nor you taste it neither you gave it to anybody to get some reactions on it.

I wrote about my boring 10 to 6 office life (here I wrote 10 to 6 coz its look gud & goes with the flow, else my ofc. life starts from 9.30 AM & goes up to midnight sometime) the only motivation I get is from my neighborhood office where Ms. Shipra is working as a senior visualizer in an Architect firm, now you now from where I got motivation to wake up latest by 7 AM & drive 35 Kms to reach office by 9.30.

Another blog I wrote about 12th July 2010 rain (Exactly 38 Min. rain) & my 5 & half hour journey from Noida to rohini sector 13. How I spend 2 Hours in my car on top of ITO bridge. Those unknown yet helpful faces, that voice of RJs about traffic jams in Delhi & a relief in my eyes yup they are talking about me. That sms chat with D, coz of that Delhi CM is alive (Long but funny story, cause if I lost my Patience I definitely kill Delhi CM that night for not repairing Delhi sewage system and cause of that I stuck in long traffic that day :-P). Thank you D.

The another blog I wrote was about Mind & Heart, when they are going parallel but not to same destination, when your mind wants to do salsa & at the same time your heart wants to listen Jagjit Singh, salsa on a ghazal difficult but not impossible. My mind wants to have a glass of wine & my heart want to eat Maa ke haath ka bna baigan ka bharta, And seriously the combination is too deadly, My Soul wont forgive me for even thinking of this deadly combination.

The forth blog I wrote about Me, HDFC Standard Life - Pension Plan & Ms. P.S., Sales Development Manager in HDFC SLIC (Here we assume her as Ms., cause if we assume her as Mrs. then this blog will spit mud on my shareef bacha image). So I met Ms. PS for discussing about my future needs as far as financial stability is concerned coz mine is not a Govt Job, where Govt will pay me even after my retirement. First when I listened the whole plan on phone I was not so much interested in investing in it, But now after meeting Ms. PS I am thinking of putting my money in this plan for my secure future. Is it the excellent last 2.5 Yrs return on investment analysis report that forced me to change my decision or the Trust in HDFC SLIC or the product knowledge of Ms. PS which clarifies all my queries about the ULIP Linked plan or Just Ms. PS done the trick. If the answer is in the last option then I am sure if HDFC SLIC will recruit 100-200 more Ms. PS then they will beat RBI as far as cash flow is concerned.

So I wrote many blogs, But y i delete them, I ask this Q. to myself, but didn't get any answer.

Wait................................

Yet another time I asked Myself this Q. in the mirror, where I can see my image in front of me, But what I saw as a reaction its still that smiley face with no hint of when can i get my answers, should I wait or put all those Q. in bad debt account of my life.............
So Mirror Mirror Plzzzzzzzzzzz tell me the truth....

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye.

"Mushkil hai apna mel priye, Ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,
tum MA 1st division ho, Main hua metric phel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye,

tum fauji afsar ki beti, main to kisaan ka beta hoon,
tum rabadi kheer malai ho, main to sattu sapreta hoon,
tum AC ghar me rahti ho, main ped ke neeche leta hoon,
tum nai maruti lagti ho, main scooter lambreta hoon,
id kadar agar hum chup-chup kar aapas me prem badhayenge,
to ek roz tere daddy amrish puri ban jaayenge,
sab haddi pasli tod mujhe bhijwa denge wo jail priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye,

tum arab desh ki ghodi ho, main hoon gadhe ki naal priye,
tum diwali ka bonus ho, main bhukhon ki hadtaal priye,
tum heere jadi tashtari ho, main alumunium ki thaal priye,
tum chicken soop biryani ho, main kankad wali daal priye,
tum hiran-chaokhadi bharti ho, main hoon kachue ki chaal priye,
tum chandan-wan ki lakdi ho, main hoon babool ki chaal priye,
main pake aam se latka hoon, mat maaro mujhe gulel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye,

main shanidev jaisa kuroop, tum komal kanchan kaya ho,
main tan-se man-se kaashi ram, tum maha chanchala maya ho,
tum nirmal paawan ganga ho, main jalta hua patanga hoon,
tum raj ghat ka shanti march, main hindu-muslim danga hoon,
tum ho poonam ka taj mahal, main kali gufa ajanta ki,
tum vardaan vidhata ka, main galti hoon bhagvanta ki,
tum jet vimaan ki shobha ho, main bus ki thelam thel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye,

tum nai videshi mixi ho, main pathar ka silbatta hoon,
tum AK-santalis jaisi, main ik desi katta hoon,
tum chatur rabadi devi si, main bhola bhala laalu hoon,
tum mukt sherni jangal ki, main chidiyaghar ka bhaloo hoon,
tum vyast sonia gandhi si, main V.P. Singh sa khali hoon,
tum hansi madhuri dixit ki, main policeman ki gaali hoon,
kal jail agar ho jaaye to dilwa dena tum bail priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye,

main dhaabe ke dhanche jaisa, tum paanch sitara hotel ho,
main mahue ka desi tharra, tum red-label ki botal ho,
tum chitar-haar ka madhur geet, main krishi-darshan ki jhaadi hoon,
tum vishva sundari si kamaal, main teliya chaap kabadi hoon,
tum sony ka mobile ho, main telephone wala hoon chonga,
tum machli mansrover ki, main sagar tat ka hoon ghongha,
dus manzil se gir jaunga, mat aage mujhe dhakel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye,

tum satta ki maharani ho, main vipaksha ki lachari hoon,
tum mamta-jailalitha si, main kwaran atal-bihari hoon,
tum tendulkar ka shatak priye, main follow-on ki pari hoon,
tum getz, matiz, corolla ho, main leyland ki lorry hoon,
mujhko refree hi rahne do, mat khelo mujhse khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahi hai khel priye."

Dont know who wrote this, but this is amazing.........

That long night

That long night of my life, it was the night of 2nd April, 2010. I thought I was lost somewhere, searching for a way out, out of that mental trauma - that i m into. For me its like a dead end of a road, road where my destiny found its destination & I am at dead end, looking for another road another path alone just into me & myself and found myself incompatible and ineligible, unfit to find another path to cover the rest of the distance.

Its 12 midnight and I am still on my bed, try to sleep but @ that point of time I thought 'sleep' is the word that is not into my dictionary or i forget how to sleep or what are the initial steps one has to take to get into that sleep mode, Another thought was into my mind that is why god didn't put a single button rite above our mind just like our cellphones, you press it and select different profiles among silent, sleep, flight, general, loud etc. etc. and how we are going to react on different modes sometimes with words and sometimes on vibrator (body language).

Its 1 AM still in that general mode, not able to get any signal from that sleep tower. And then suddenly, I don't know how but suddenly a thought came to my mind which is just near to death, A thought that says depicts "if I sleep tonight, may be this is my last sleep, may be i am not able to wake-up after this sleep". A single thought give invitation to many other thoughts, my mind & heart are now running like they have to Qualify themselves into Olympics. I always heard about two parts of brain and @ that point of time when the right hand side part was thinking of my last sleep, the left-hand side part was thinking of some unfinished business as this is my last sleep, which include:

- Is it feasible to hug mom & dad @ this time.
- How to tell them about the car keys that is in right hand pocket of my black trouser.
- How to tell them that the last date to pay landline bill is 15th April.
- What is the correct way to inform some close friends of mine, may be they are sleeping so calling them is not feasible, again massaging is again a trouble cause few of them are married.
- Informing my company and specially the HR Manager in Bangalore branch about my long long leave, so that at least they can put it in informed leave of mine.
- Informing my follow colleagues about unfinished work and pending follow-ups.
- Many more things one by one running into my mind.

I spent next 2 and half hour thinking about my last sleep, thinking about those unfinished tasks. Coming back to the reality that the next day was Saturday and Saturday is always a working day for me, so i have to reach office by 10 AM, So if above all are some kind of imagination of mine or some kind of fusion or chemical locha in my mind, than its not an end and i have to wake-up by 8 AM in the morning so i need to sleep, sleep atleast for next 4 hours.

After a long lasting night of my life where my power of thinking beyond the boundaries take me to the sphere of imagination, I closed my eyes, put some heavy weights on my eye lashes to drop it like a shutter @ the entry of a shop.

In another words i can explain it like challenging my own imagination by sleeping, Its like standing in front of it and saying "lets see if i am able to wake-up in the morning or not, whether its the end or not".

Although I don't mind waking-up on 3rd morning with that revamped song - Tel Maalish from the movie Road starts buzzing as a alarm tone in my mobile.

Time for celebrations... BUT........

Its been a month when i joined the new gym in rohini, and now i am happy after getting first share of return in a month, uuuuuuhhhhhhhh i loose 3 Kgs in the first month, I don't want to mention the current weight of mine, its still the shocking 3 digit figure.... But i thought the only thing you loose in your life and its the reason to celebrate is your weight. N yes the celebration, the party that include Diet coke cans (Tasteless), Subway Veggie Salad, and this time the 60ml glasses for single shots is filled up with Orange juice, The Grilled Sandwiches (without mayo n cheese again tasteless). And in all that I miss Smirnoff - Vodka, My first love (But after my bike & after that college crush of mine). But the point is that I am missing her, that seductive smell of her, specially when you just twist the the nob of her to open it, the time when i was totally in her and she is over me, those hangovers and she sweetly took all blames on her for that without arguing much. She is so perfect and extrovert that she mixed with anyone at anytime whether its Orange juice or Limca or Lemonade or sometimes its coke or pepsi and sometimes I am busy with those one to one conversation with her (taking her all alone).

This single blog is dedicated to you, I am missing you so much.
"Smirnoff-Vodka"

Grayscale theme for my room....

Yup, you read it rite, Now I am going to give my room a gray-scale theme by hanging some big framed poster of mine in black & white theme.

You can have a look on the poster size 14" X 22"